A short essay by Gothi Lush D.D.
I will say from the start that I am not a fan of humility as it is commonly used by the American populace and the religious leadership of the “Big 3” Abrahamic faiths to keep people subjugated.
Humility seems to be the device used to keep the masses in line. It is portrayed as something to aspire to, as if being meek is a good thing. When it is said that “the meek shall inherit the Earth” I wonder “why would you want that”. Valhalla, Heaven or Nirvana seems the better option, I mean isn’t that why most people seek out religion is to find something better than what we have now? But I think I might be getting off track.
Humility is the trait of knowing your place and never “tooting your own horn” and that is all fine and good if you’ve never done anything in your life worth talking about. But most of us have. I can not imagine a world without war stories. Who could rise against authority if they are busy knowing their place? Humility is alien to me because I see no one as my superior except for the gods. And even then if I am in their presence I have done something to warrant that attention. On the whole I see humility as a bad thing, sure it’s great to not let your tongue get you in trouble but I bet you do something better than the guy who can kick your ass… just not fisticuffs. I went off track again.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Humiliation Vs Humilty
In the eyes of the meek...
Being meek isn't as easy as people would think. Indeed, I have accepted things that other people wouldn't... For instance, I enjoy being submissive. It is a choice I live with every day because it affects me every day. I prefer to be told what to do by most people, but ONLY those whom I trust and think I ought to give such respect. However, and this is a big one, sometimes I let it go too far. I mean, as much as I like being submissive to others, there are times when I am crying out to be heard and nobody can hear me at all. Also, there seems to be a fine line between being submissive and being a doormat. I have had the unfortunate experience of being the doormat sometimes.
People sometimes ask me why I put myself through such things, and I don't ever have an honest answer I can give them, so I simply shrug. But tonight I was kind of forced to think about it because I was asked to write this blog for my friend. She wanted some "essays" on humility. So in thinking about this humility thing, I suppose the best possible answer I can give is that I am used to it... I've been pretty much talked over, ignored, pointed at, etc, since I was little. Being called "ugly" was a daily experience in my world by the kids at school.
There was a time where I was angry at myself and everyone else around me. You know, those turbulent teenage years when you're between childhood and adulthood? But then, who wouldn't be? I had stopped caring about myself because I was a victim of rape and molestation. I know what it is like to be violated so bad that being a teenager was something I wished wouldn't happen. I stopped caring so much, that people found me an easy target and teased me mercilessly, and I thought at the time that I was helpless.
Humility and humiliation are two words that are often confused. I was not humble back then, I was humiliated. Humiliation forces you into some actions that are similar to humility. Make no mistake, they are completely different. You do not force humility unto another, they are either humble or they aren't.
But you know what? Writing this is not humiliating. It is humbling. I will explain....
The whole time I was being humiliated, and this was a nearly twenty year stretch out of my nearly twenty eight years of life, I gave up on the one thing that I should have humbled myself to the most... And that was God. I said, "Why should I care about a God who is not there?" But he was. Through it all, I suppose there were always these signs that I saw and chose to ignore. He tested me.
I would never change the past. There are no "What if" moments for me. Everything, including the rapes, happened for a reason. I would not have been shaped into the strong woman that I am today. While I still submit myself in my daily life, I mostly submit to God. He has been good to me for throwing the challenges at me that make my life interesting.
Just recently, I was baptized. As I stood at the altar with my evangelist, he was crying. He was humbled to know that someone who went through as much as I had (though he doesn't know all of it), could find it in me to give myself back to Jesus. I said to him, "When you walk through life in darkness, you crave seeing the light." And it is totally true.
I started to go to church because I wanted to submit to Jesus, not just people. I want Him to be my boss, my guide. And I go to church because it makes me happy after years of being let down by humiliation.
The point is that I am humble for Jesus, and in life, because of the things that have shaped me over the years. I will have more to say about it later when I have thought, so this blog is to be continued.
Oh MY God
I know its scary when I've been thinking, but imagine what it must be like actually being inside my head, eh?
I've been thinking a lot about humility and how it seems like humanity has a complete lack of it lately. I wondered if maybe my standards are just too high or perhaps I have fallen victim to the sort of prideful self righteousness that causes so many of us to feel superior to other people. Lots of things make me feel like puking when it comes to people - the ones who think they shouldn't have to contribute to society at all because they've achieved enough in their life to be comfortable and no one else deserves as much as them AND the ones who feel like they shouldn't have to do anything but take up space and oxygen while everyone else in the world works their asses off and each person gives them just a little to make up for their total lack. Notice the theme there? Neither of them wants to give anything to anyone. One has plenty to share and the other has nothing, but thinks everyone should share with them. I believe that both points of view are wrong, prideful and flatly irritating.
Recently I have noted several people in my life who subscribe to a particular sect of Christianity committing grievous acts of blasphemy. I mean, not blasphemy in the way that I just think its blasphemy so I'm going to call it that - but no. Real, biblical blasphemy. (Coming from someone whose blog is called Well, Goddamn I suppose you'd think I'm the pot calling the kettle black and you might just be right about that). This is what made me wonder where reminding someone that they are going against the beliefs they subscribe to ends and blatant holier than thou attitudes begin.
An old friend of mine once told me "Humility is a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there" which, I'm fairly sure he attributed to Mother Teresa, but I have not been able to substantiate that. I DO know that she said Both humility and prayer grow from an ear, mind, and tongue that have lived in silence with God, for in the silence of the heart God speaks.
Mahatma Ghandi said the seven great sins are 1: Wealth without work 2: Pleasure without conscience 3: Knowledge without character 4: Commerce without morality 5: Science without humility 6: Worship without sacrifice and 7: Politics without principle
Charles Dickens famously said that 'Umble we are. 'Umble we have been. 'Umble we shall ever be.
Of course, in contrast, you could go with Ted Turner's estimation that If I only had a little humility, I would be perfect.
When all else fails, we can turn to the internet encyclopedia to define humility for us.
For me, I feel that humility is a constant struggle against my own human nature. I believe very much that Man, as a reasoning being, carries with Him some pride and a lot of arrogance. We have this sort of inborn passion for ourselves that - to the best of my knowledge - other beasts of the world simply do not possess. I want to move away from that passion for self and learn to keep my mouth shut about small and insignificant things, but then I have to decide what is insignificant enough that I should not at least try to change or influence change in the world. What is small and carries no bearing ont he world? For, truly, if the wings of a butterfly flapping here today can cause a hurricane on the other side of the world tomorrow - then is someone drinking the sacramental wine as a dinner garnish arbitrary? How do you know?
To affect change in the world toward what I personally think is the best path for humanity would make me truly prideful, I think. I have no right to believe what I do is in the name of my God if my God has not personally told me to do it. And He hasn't! At the same time, I think that letting the world destroy itsself without intervention is truly selfish. One cannot stand alone and believe their actions have no consequences on those around them.
I have been accused of being a democrat, a liberal, too conservative, too religious, a nutjob, a socialist (that one was my favorite - oh no! I think all men are equal and should be treated that way!), and a republican. All because people who have no opinions of their own need to label those around them in order to be comfortable. In my life, I have learned that there is no comfort in humility. At all. Humility is a constant exercise in self control and a struggle to let go of the pride and ego which only stop me from seeing someone else's point of view and finding a diplomatic resolution. With all of these things in mind, I decided to invite some friends of mine to come here and guest author their own thoughts on humility. I don't know if they will all come forward, but I am hopeful.
I've been thinking a lot about humility and how it seems like humanity has a complete lack of it lately. I wondered if maybe my standards are just too high or perhaps I have fallen victim to the sort of prideful self righteousness that causes so many of us to feel superior to other people. Lots of things make me feel like puking when it comes to people - the ones who think they shouldn't have to contribute to society at all because they've achieved enough in their life to be comfortable and no one else deserves as much as them AND the ones who feel like they shouldn't have to do anything but take up space and oxygen while everyone else in the world works their asses off and each person gives them just a little to make up for their total lack. Notice the theme there? Neither of them wants to give anything to anyone. One has plenty to share and the other has nothing, but thinks everyone should share with them. I believe that both points of view are wrong, prideful and flatly irritating.
Recently I have noted several people in my life who subscribe to a particular sect of Christianity committing grievous acts of blasphemy. I mean, not blasphemy in the way that I just think its blasphemy so I'm going to call it that - but no. Real, biblical blasphemy. (Coming from someone whose blog is called Well, Goddamn I suppose you'd think I'm the pot calling the kettle black and you might just be right about that). This is what made me wonder where reminding someone that they are going against the beliefs they subscribe to ends and blatant holier than thou attitudes begin.
An old friend of mine once told me "Humility is a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there" which, I'm fairly sure he attributed to Mother Teresa, but I have not been able to substantiate that. I DO know that she said Both humility and prayer grow from an ear, mind, and tongue that have lived in silence with God, for in the silence of the heart God speaks.
Mahatma Ghandi said the seven great sins are 1: Wealth without work 2: Pleasure without conscience 3: Knowledge without character 4: Commerce without morality 5: Science without humility 6: Worship without sacrifice and 7: Politics without principle
Charles Dickens famously said that 'Umble we are. 'Umble we have been. 'Umble we shall ever be.
Of course, in contrast, you could go with Ted Turner's estimation that If I only had a little humility, I would be perfect.
When all else fails, we can turn to the internet encyclopedia to define humility for us.
For me, I feel that humility is a constant struggle against my own human nature. I believe very much that Man, as a reasoning being, carries with Him some pride and a lot of arrogance. We have this sort of inborn passion for ourselves that - to the best of my knowledge - other beasts of the world simply do not possess. I want to move away from that passion for self and learn to keep my mouth shut about small and insignificant things, but then I have to decide what is insignificant enough that I should not at least try to change or influence change in the world. What is small and carries no bearing ont he world? For, truly, if the wings of a butterfly flapping here today can cause a hurricane on the other side of the world tomorrow - then is someone drinking the sacramental wine as a dinner garnish arbitrary? How do you know?
To affect change in the world toward what I personally think is the best path for humanity would make me truly prideful, I think. I have no right to believe what I do is in the name of my God if my God has not personally told me to do it. And He hasn't! At the same time, I think that letting the world destroy itsself without intervention is truly selfish. One cannot stand alone and believe their actions have no consequences on those around them.
I have been accused of being a democrat, a liberal, too conservative, too religious, a nutjob, a socialist (that one was my favorite - oh no! I think all men are equal and should be treated that way!), and a republican. All because people who have no opinions of their own need to label those around them in order to be comfortable. In my life, I have learned that there is no comfort in humility. At all. Humility is a constant exercise in self control and a struggle to let go of the pride and ego which only stop me from seeing someone else's point of view and finding a diplomatic resolution. With all of these things in mind, I decided to invite some friends of mine to come here and guest author their own thoughts on humility. I don't know if they will all come forward, but I am hopeful.
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